By Bob & Blanche
1> Phantom of the Holodeck (or is that redundant?). BV: Or, "The Phantooommmmmm" as John Larroquette would say in Night Court... 2> Rent -- La Boehme in Space (Garak can't pay this months' rent, etc). 3> Showboat -- space-fairing ship that stops at various stations performing quaint vaudeville shows. 4> Hair -- no description needed. Anyone who saw the show was spacey to begin with. 5> Hairspray -- Though I'm not sure how well Kai Opaka can carry a tune... 6> Nine -- Obvious choice. Kira being suspended upside-down from mid-air while singing. 7> Dance of The Shapeshifters -- Should we even bother with Michael Crawford this time?? BC: Personally, I'd drop this one and go for "Kismet". Talk about typecasting. It would be *so* easy to imagine Sisko as the Hajj, Kira as Lalume, Worf or Nog as the Caliph and Ezri as Marsinah. Villainous Wazir, of course, portrayed by Dukat. Come to think of it, isn't it about time for "Kismet" to be revived on Broadway? Nana as Lalume singing "Bored". If Rene's going back to Broadway, he'd be perfect as the Wazir. 8> The Sound Of Latinum -- Ferengi Trapp Family Singers attempt "Climb Ev'ry Mountain". BC: "Sell Ev'ry Mountain" "Sixteen, Going on Seventeen -- I'll bid Nineteen!" "Dough, Re, Me" 9> Camelot -- Typical Klingon opera. BC: "How to Handle a Cardie" 10> Morn Of La Mancha -- Wasn't Richard Kiley in a DS9 episode? Season 2, wasn't it? BC: With Jadzia Dax as Dulcinea and Nog as his squire. 11> Starlight Express -- Jem Haddar on roller-blades. 12> A Chorus Line -- Leeta competes with an array of scantily-clad extras... BC: A Dabo Line 13> Kiss Me, Kira -- Kira & Garak as Lily (Kate) & Fred (Petruchio) with Ezri as Lois (Bianca) and Bashir as Bill (Lucentio) (this is waaaay too obvious, but still good). With that incredible score including such famous songs as "Another Op'nin, Another Wormhole", "We Open In Gallitep", "I Hate Men", and "Brush Up Your Shakespeare (In Klingon)". BV: That last one, they need to issue raincoats a la My One And Only. 14> The Producers -- starring Quark as Max Bialystock and Rom as Leo Bloom. Can't you just imagine the rousing ovation the audience will bestow on the centerpiece number, "Springtime for Garak and Cardassia!" 15> Barnum -- starring Sisko in the lead, the story of the Original Meister of Hokum thru the entire Alpha Quadrant. In which he teaches even the Ferengi "There's a Sucker Born Ev'ry Minute". BV: I see Leeta in this one also, performing tumbling stunts & pratfalls. Plus that Ferengi troupe in their humanoid-pyramid act. 16> The Best Little Whorehouse on Risa -- Finally, we get to use Kira's Side Boys once again! Wonder what they've been doing for the past five years? 17> Mama Mia - a Kai Winn vehicle?? "Dancing Queen" - I'd hate to imagine... BC: Don't!! 18> Sunset Boulevard - A certain shapeshifter's classic line: "I'm ready for my close-up!" BV: Or "meltdown", as the case may be. Dukat as the reporter... BC: Or, Dukat in the Glenn Close/Gloria Swanson role. 19> Kira Nerys At Liberty - who else deserves a one-woman show?!*****and, finally ("Can I Get A Tymp?!?!" as Ed McMahon would say...)*******
20> 42nd Street!
©2004 Bob & Blanche