1. Worf's idiot exclamation: "What?!? The kid doesn't have the NOSE!!!"
    BC: I know a good plastic surgeon...

2. Where do you put the communicator? On the diaper?

3. YOU try sleeping through Worf's lullabye-singing!!

4. As a joke, Worf swaps the cigars with America Online disks.

5. Baby food consists of squirming gagh!
    BC: Gerber's Early Childhood Gagh.
    RV: Yum yum!  Like eating spaghetti!!

6. Says he can do circumcisions with just a flick of the wrist
   (imagine the look of horror on Miles' & Keiko's faces!).
    BC: Great, just what we need - a Klingon Mohel with a Bat'Leth.

7. Might overreact to the blessed event by giving Quark the ol' 360-out-the-airlock
    BC: Or a group discount on Bris' for Ferengi....

8. May be tempted to give the kid elocution lessons (What? Another Picard? Another Kirk??).
    RV: Not too sure about this one.

9. The Bat'Leth is standing by in case a Caesarean is necessary 
   (Klingon bris's are outlandish ceremonies!)
    BC: See #6
    RV: *Definitely* see Item #6. (OUCH!!)

10. Worf: "Oh my god!! The kid is a CHANGELING!!!"
    RV: *EEECH!!*
    BC: No, I said the kid needs "Changing!"
    RV: And the answer is still *EEECH!*.

11. Garak expands his tailoring business to include childrens' clothes as well as 
    maternity styles.
    RV: Oshkosh B'Gosh does sound a bit Cardassian... actually, it
        sounds more Klingon.
    BC: OshK'sh. Or, for B5 fans, "Osh-Kosh", the replacement for
        Kosh in season 4.

12. Visualize Worf in delivery classes....No, on second thought - don't.
    RV: As in "Lamaze"?  That should be interesting!

13. Poor Bashir will feel left out... so would Odo!
     Let us **not even** mention Shakaar or that lusty alien
     from Meridian!!

14. Quark expands his business to include day-care. I want to see
    Quark change the diapers....
    RV: He's got the teeth for it... BTW, so does Worf!

15. Gul Dukat and Kira are invited to be godparents, in hopes of
    improving Cardassian/Federation/Bajoran relations. Kira,
    obviously being not only "aunt" but also godmother, is not happy.

16. If the Nexus hits DS9 (re: ST/Generations), Kira faces the
    prospect of living this episode over & over again.

17. Worf's X-mas present to the newest O'Brien:
    The Amazing Lifelike Wind-Up Data!!
       (emotion-chip sold separately)

    RV: Worf tried those 42nd Street & Broadway shops but couldn't
       find anything, but he *did* buy something for himself!

18. Worf's ol' buddy Q might drop by for the delivery. (Bob is reaching
     for the Pepto Bismol while typing this...)

19. Worf doesn't like being sneezed upon!

...And finally...

20. Because it's already been done. On the other hand, that's never
    stopped the Trek writers before...

©1998 Bob & Blanche