Twenty ways Nana can use her Free Time (now that Dorn is here...)
by Bob (RV) & Blanche (BC)
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1) Make a tap-dance exercise tape - TAPPERCISE!
2) Host a talk show
3) Make a guest appearance on:
Babylon 5 (Why not? Majel is going to).
Melrose Place
Pointman (this one I'd love to see!)
4) Team teach a writing class titled
"How NOT to Write for Star Trek!"
with emphasis on characterization, plotting and costumes...
5) World Wide Tag Team Mud Wrestling with Marina Sirtis
vs
Claudia Christian and Gillan Anderson
RV: Mike Dorn as referee?
BC: Jon Frakes as referee? David Letterman?
6) Captain the DS9 team on "American Gladiators"
BC: Yeah! But who else is on the team? Cirroc, Colm or Sid?
RV: you pick 'em (My choice: either Avery, Marc Alaimo or Colm)
BC: The big guy she was "lounging in" (on? with?) on "TTLG"
RV: Done!!
7) Appear as one of Murphy's secretaries (this one I know she'd love to
do - she's a Murphy Brown fan)
8) If Patrick Stewart is going to be Ice Man in the next Batman, then
take over the role of Catwoman...
9) Better yet - star as Catwoman in the TV Spinoff of the Batman movies
BC: have *you* tried living all day in a rubber suit.....?
RV: Tell wardrobe to make her costume out of Spandex
BC: Spandex is almost as uncomfortable...and you still sweat.
10) Guest star on a Hercules episode as Diana - Goddess of the Hunt.
Also guest-starring Terry Farrell as Aphrodite and Dom DeLuise as
Neptune.
11) Replace Ed McMahon as host of Star Search or Richard Dawson on Family Feud
12) Host a nature-show, "Nana Visitor's Wild Kingdom" featuring her
menagerie of dogs, cats & other creatures (and co-host Buster, in his TV
debut!)
13) Star in any of the following stage musicals:
replace Julie Andrews in "Victor/Victoria" next year
Kiss Of The Spider Woman,
Cabaret,
Damn Yankees (as Lola),
Cats (pick your feline),
Nunsense 3 (as the Mother Superior) and
Kiss Me Kate (in the Ann Miller "Too Darn Hot!" role....
also featuring Brent and Rene as the Hoods
14) Reprise the "Night Court" psycho-babe on The John Larroquette Show
RV: only this time FINISH HIM OFF!!!!
15) Train for the U.S. Olympic Rhythmic Gymnastics Team
RV: I'll bet she's adept with rubber balls and hula-hoops >;{D
Try that on toe-shoes! As Georg told me during the CompuServe
online Nana-con "You're such a pig!
" Oink!!! Snork!!!!
BC: Bob, you're sick...but funny!
16) Appear on Circus Of The Stars as Harry Anderson's magic assistant.
17) Star in the sequel to Thelma & Louise..."Nana And Louise"
RV: The plot: Kira and Winn decide one day 'the hell with it' and
steal the Defiant for a wild ride through the Quadrant, robbing
Ferengis and seducing wayward Starfleet cadets.
BC: Kira & Winn? That belongs on the other list!
RV: Aw shucks! But ya hafta admit, it's a great story-line, beats
"Matlock" by a light-year (with respects to ol' Andy)
BC: Nah - they'd never waste their time with mere cadets...at the
very least, Captains. More likely Admirals.
18) Open her restaurant & dinner-theatre "NANA'S"
BC: Avery on the piano, Jon Frakes sitting in on trombone
RV: Blanche does the dishes, Bob & Nana cut a mean tango during
intermissions
19) Make another appearance on "Live with Regis and Kathie Lee"
RV: She was so bubbly the first time, and that skirt..!!!!
Pass the towel, I'm drooling! ;{)
And finally...
20) Go on a world-cruise with the kid (at Paramount's expense...she EARNED it!!)
20 Things Kira can do now that Worf is on board DS9
Another list by Bob & Blanche
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1) Join the Cirque du Bajorica (especially with the new uniform and makeup)
> with thanks to Mary Taylor
2) Run a hair-salon next to Garak's tailor-shop
(Kira had so many hairstyles she's a real cinch to do this)
BC: no no no...The DS9 outlet of Victoria's Secret
RV: Ooooh la LA!! So THAT's where the new catsuit came from!
BC: this is a running joke with Georg & Topf for ages I, of course,
run the dry cleaners on the other side of Garak's shop...
3) Officiate the first-ever Miss Bajor Pageant
4) Run a novelty craft-shop in the Promenade where, for example,
she could make & sell miniature Bajoran solar-sail ships
5) Kick Quark's butt for a change, just for the hell of it!
6) Slap Dukat with a palimony-suit
7) Organize the first Professional Springball League in the Federation.
8) Cruise director on the Federation Princess Luxury Cruise Line
9) Go undercover (at the request of the Vedek Assembly) to Winn's order.
Winn, of course, isn't there, so no one recognizes her.
BC: but we still need a reason WHY she's at the convent.
Interesting visual - Kira at the Convent.
10) Federation Wide Tag Team Mud Wrestling
Kira Nerys vs Deanna Troi
BC: I have this really weird feeling of deja vu.
11) Write "Cuisine of the Bajoran Underground". Includes recipes such as
"101 ways to cook Palukoo"
12) Challenge Worf to a game of Chicken in two runabouts. Winner gets to
toss Quark out the airlock.
13) ------------------------------------------
| |
| Nerys & Her Ferengi Sideboys! |
| Now Headlining at New Las Vegas, Risa! |
| |
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RV: "Send in the clowns....."
(thanks or apologies to Adrian)
BC: well it's better than "Send in the Clones..."
14) Study the entire works of Mary Shelley so that she could become Dr.
FrankenKira and bring Bareil back from the dead (Julian as an unwitting
accomplice; Nog as Igor)
BC: you're getting desperate.
15) Decides to find out more about James Kirk. Starts reading his
bio, is fascinated by the Alice in Wonderland planet and travels
there.
16) Gets hired by an independent movie producer filming an historical
epic. She's cast as Cokie Roberts.
17) Appear in the annual DS9 Crew Showcase as Jadzia's magic assistant
(in addition to Item #13)
18) Play Dorothy in the Station production of "The Wizard Of Oz", featuring
Odo as the Wicked Witch of the West (gender notwithstanding)...
RV: He does that famous melting act sooooo well...!!
Nerys' feature number: "Somewheeeeeere....inside the wormhole......."
BC: Someone get me out of here!
RV: Other featured performers:
Bashir as the Scarecrow
Garak as the Tin Man
Worf as the Cowardly Lion (Kowardly Klingon??), and...
Kai Winn as the Good Witch ("Now click your high-heels and say,
'There's no place like Bajor....' ")
Plus.....Ferengis as Munchkins!!!
BC: Please! Anything! Baywatch...Even Seaquest 90210!
19) Steal a shuttle and take off the to Badlands and team up with Ro Laren
to rescue Tom Riker from the Cardassian prison. Riker, of course, is
delighted at the thought of being on a shuttle with the two of
them for an extended period of time. The only mystery, who'll
come out alive at the end?
20) Thru an exchange program with the Federation, get stationed for
a year at StarFleet Academy teaching survival training. Meets
Picard, who's also there teaching. The rest - let your imagination
run rampant...
©1995, 1996 Bob & Blanche